It’s easy to understand that a victim of childhood PTSD will make some bad decisions. It’s very difficult to explain why, but it’s almost universal, and the domino effect is stunning.
There could be an underlying sense of worthlessness and unlovability. That generates a “who cares anyway” feeling, and that’s extremely depressing. There could also be a sense of “it’s all my fault, I’m very bad”, and that can generate deep feelings of guilt and shame. Feelings like these can contribute to physical and mental anguish that can last, well, generations.
I hate the word “victim”, so I’m going to write in the second person, as if the reader has experienced this kind of trauma. Hopefully this will also help someone who is close to a victim better understand what’s going on. Please don’t take it personally ;o).
You might find yourself caught in the alcohol/drugs/gambling/irresponsible sex group. Or you might hurt yourself by cutting. You’re just trying to dull the pain or finally feel alive. You could make some very bad decisions and anger many people, sometimes repeatedly and intensely. The choices you make seem to backfire more often than not, and you’re drawn to relationships that take a lot of work (and often fail). You lie. A lot. About things that don’t even matter. You reach out for help, many times, but you always seem to fall back into your “bad habits”.
You seek counseling, but just talking about these experiences doesn’t always help as much as we’d like to believe. If you talk about it enough, you kind of get anesthetized, but it doesn’t remove the energy from your body. And that can cause all kinds of problems.
You try yoga, exercise, walks with your dog, support groups, and meditation. You might even clean up your diet and become physically fit and strong. And yet…
Damage has been done. Trusts and hearts have been broken. Sometimes tragic and irreparable damage is done, either by you or to you (or both). There are reminders, everywhere. You never feel clean or accepted. You fall back into thinking, “What’s the use?” But you gotta go on.
You must forgive, starting within.
You have to forgive yourself and forgive those who have wronged you. Period. This may sound easy, and it is, actually, once you learn how, but until you truly understand what forgiveness is all about you’ll probably struggle with it for a long time.
Forgiveness is one of the most powerful and liberating things we have, and yet for many it’s so hard to allow. Once burned, twice shy, as the saying goes. And sometimes the offensive is so awful that to forgive would seem to simply be unthinkable. All of those memories that bring up emotions so deep that you’re rendered beyond comprehension can’t just be washed away and forgotten, can they?
Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.
Well, no and yes. No, what was done cannot be undone. But yes, you can stop the damage of trapped emotions by releasing their energies and returning your body to your natural balanced flow. This will allow you to heal. You’ll still have the knowledge of what happened, but your level of discomfort surrounding the event will be lessened greatly or even completely removed.
Do you know someone struggling with forgiveness? Would you like to take away the negative energies that prevent you from living your highest life? Schedule an appointment for a free 20-minute consultation to see how The Emotion Code/Body Code can help you!